I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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