Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
