Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
