Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The air taste purple.
Randomize
