Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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