Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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