I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
