Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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