I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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