We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize