is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
