I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
