The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
