wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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