You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
