Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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