So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
