happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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