My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
