TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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