Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
