Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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