I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
