well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
