She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
