Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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