and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
