She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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