I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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