I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
