Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
