I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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