Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She needs sedatives and a leash
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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