omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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