Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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