i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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