I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
