What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
