I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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