Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize