moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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