I think i sorta joined a cult last night
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
