my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
