oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize