this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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