i permit you to call me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
