i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You pole danced in your parka.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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