guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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