Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
