I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I FOUND THE LEGS
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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