yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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