Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize