I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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