i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
